


Dan's Memories

by DantheOtakuboi



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-07-11 07:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7036186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DantheOtakuboi/pseuds/DantheOtakuboi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan tries to commit suicide but Phil find him in time to save him. He gets memory loss so he doesn’t remember that Phil is his best friend. He remembers him as his Youtuber Crush back in 2009. Will Phil be able to get Dan’s memories back and fall in love with him? Or will he Dan fall in love with someone else?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

Dan’s POV …. 2014

 

I can't take it anymore every second I spend with Phil it hurts. I'm still in love with him and depressed just like I was in 2009. I can’t believe it. He said he wanted to talk about something, that something was his announcement. He's moving out. He's gonna go live with his girlfriend Mari. I hate her. She doesn’t deserve him. She doesn't love him like I do. I'm so done. Everything is shit . Might as well end it so I don't have to suffer anymore. It's been so long since I've felt happy. I mean whenever I'm with phil I feel fine but recently he hasn't been talking to me as much. I feel empty. I just want to end it. Writing suicide notes suck but I have to let people know why i did this. 

 

_“Dear Phil if you found this it means i'm dead. I'm so sorry i left you but i felt like there was no reason why i should be here. And please tell my mum and dad that i'm sorry. And there's something i need to tell you and it's I love you Phil, It's been killing me to see you with someone else that is not me. I tried to be happy again i really did but it didn't work. I just don't belong here. You deserve someone better than me. A better best friend. Please don't be sad. Tell everyone that it was my decision I've been living with this depression for… hell I can't even remember how many years I've had it. I hope you live a happy life with your wife Mari. Yeah, I overheard you talking to Pj, how you were going to ask her to marry you that broke my heart. Seeing you with someone else plus getting shit from my parents and other family. I couldn't take it anymore. Anyways tell Adrian I'm sorry for being a horrible brother. Tell everyone of our friends that I love them and that I’m really sorry for not sticking around._

_~ Your best friend Dan Howell._

_P.s I’ll see you in another life ok. I love you Phil.”_

 

I'm ready. I go to the bathroom and grab my special, very close friend that has helped me release the pain for so many years. I know this is going to hurt but it's going to be worth it. I'll be dead and I'll finally be happy. I go to my right wrist first and i dig the blade in as far as it can go and make a big slice i can feel myself dying but i don't care. I grab the blade with my right hand and it hurts like hell. But if i want this to work i have to do both of them. I dig the blade into my skin a little when i feel the room go black. I open my eyes and see that there is blood everywhere. This is going to work. Goodbye world i'm going into an eternal slumber. Goodnight…..

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at writing but im giving it a try. Hoped u liked this. Im so sorry. ill put chapter 2 up tomorrow


	2. Chapter 2

Phil’s POV   2014

Dan and I have been best friends since 2009. I've always had feelings for him. 

But I knew he didn't, he just wanted to be friends. 

Two years ago I found Mari. She's the best thing that has happened to me, apart from Dan of course. I decided to move in with her a little while ago. 

Dan needs his space and I'm pretty sure he needs to get a girlfriend soon. It’s just that it’s been awhile ok since he’s had one. Anyways, I think I might propose to Mari. She is the love of my life, alongside Dan.

Though I can’t propose to Dan, now can I? 

Having a break from everything and taking a walk around London is always relaxing. I should go home though. It’s getting dark and I'm tired. 

Dan must be home, he never goes outside except to go to Louise's house. Hopefully he wants to order pizza and have a movie night. Since I'm moving in with Mari next Friday, this is our last Friday together. 

 

__________________________le time skip________________________

 

I get to the front of the house and unlock the front door. I wonder if Dan is home.

“Dan? You here? I was thinking we could watch a movie and order pizza how does that sound.” 

No response. His coat and shoes are here. He must be home there's no way he could have gone barefoot and without his coat it's really cold. 

 

I start to climb up the stairs to where the lounge is. “Dan, where are you? Please come out. I know you’re upset about the whole moving out thing, but I have to get on with my life. Don't worry, I'll visit you!” Still no answer.

 

Hmmmm. Let's see where could he be. Lounge? Nope. Kitchen? Nope. His room? Nope. Bathroom? He better not be pooping or something and that’s why he can't hear me. 

“Dan, open up the door. I know you're in there.” No response. “Dan? Please answer me, this isn't funny.”

At this point I started to feel really worried. “Dan please, we need to talk.” No answer. If he won't open up then I'll just use the key. Let's see here where is it. Ah! Here it is, under this piece of wood.

 

“Dan if you don’t open up I will…..…” Silence followed. “OK, I warned you.” 

The next thing I saw was the most horrific thing i have ever seen. All I saw was a pool of blood. And in the middle of it the lifeless body of my best friend. 

I began to scream in horror. I ran to his body trying to see if he was still alive. 

I tried calling 999 “PLEASE, HELP ME MY FLATMATE IS DYING!”

 

The operator told me to calm down. I knew screaming down the phone wasn't gonna help Dan. I tried my hardest to calm down. 

Then, the operator told me to tell her what our address was. I told her our address. Few minutes went by and  paramedics came. And took Dan away. They told me that I couldn't go in the ambulance unless I was family. 

 

“I’m his boyfriend please let me go with him.” They let me on. I can't believe I just said I was his boyfriend. At least they let me on. 

The whole way there I was whispering in Dan’s ear to stay with me. “Don’t leave me please”, and many other things. When we got to the hospital everyone was rushing to to help him. On the way there, I didn't notice his wrists. I looked at them and the sight made me sick. 

I wanted to vomit right there. 

I felt darkness take over my vision. And then my body went limp.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know im a horrible person. And my writing really sucks t the begining but i promise it gets better from here. Anyways promise to update tomorrow again.


	3. chapter 3

Dan’s POV  
This happens when Dan’s is unconscious 

Flashback… To 2010

I always have this same dream. Phil’s on the side of my hospital bed, holding my hand saying I’ll get better, but I never did. This started about 6 months ago after I got back from the hospital, after I overdosed on sleeping pills, Phil saved me. I had this dream at least 3 times a week, it started with Phil holding my face in his hand saying “Please, Dan! Please!” he said shaking me a little “Dan, please wake up!” he continued, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Dan, if you don’t wake up… ” tears spilled down his face “I'll never tell you I loved you please… Dan… wake… up!” I never woke up.

The dreams ends with Phil being pushed out by a nurse. “No… Dan…. you’re the only thing I have left!” Phil yelled, while being dragged out in the hallway.   
The last thing I remember, is my lifeless body on the the hospital bed, and Phil crying in the distance.

 

Phil's POV 3rd person

Flashback… Year 2010

 

“Helllllooo” Phil yelled out “Dannnnn, I’m homeeeee!”   
No one answered.   
Ummm that's weird... He thought, walking towards Dan’s room. Dan’s never keeps his door closed   
I turned the doorknob, Maybe something’s wrong. He opened the door.

“Nope, Dan’s just sleeping” Phil ran up to Dan’s bed and jumped on him. “HEY, DAN, Wake up, I have to talk to you!” Phil said jump up and down on Dan’s bed. 

(NO ANSWER) “Hey,” he said not jumping on the bed anymore “Dan?’ Phil started to shake him a little. 

“Hey, Dan?” He got off his bed, when Phil noticed a bottle…. of pills. They were all over his desk and a few on the ground.   
“No… this can’t be happening!”   
He ran over to the bottle on Dan’s Desk, it said in bold letters… SLEEPING PILLS: warning to not take more than 2 at a time. Side Effects could lead to DEATH. 

“NO NO NO NO” Phil screamed, while racing to grabbed my phone. Phil, after grabbing his phone, then spirited back to Dan’s room. He dialed 999, while trying to shake Dan.

Maybe he’s pranking me. . . Maybe? Phil was shaking his head No, he would do this to me. . . He knows this draws the line. . . 

Phil’s train of thought got cut off by the lady on the phone. “Hello this is 999, how may I help you” In a nice soft british accent. 

“PLEASE HELP MY FLAT MATE HE’S DYING!” Phil screamed into the phone like someone was suffocating him. “PLEASE HELP HIM!”

Phil soon realised screaming into a phone wouldn't help Dan, he took a deep breath and told his address. The paramedics came in less than 10min, they carried Dan away.   
Phil sat in a hospital room later that day. Dan then woke up a few hours later, asking why would he save him.   
Phil just said “Because I’m not ready to loose you just yet.” After the doctors knew Dan was alright, they sent him home, and they suggested therapy. From then on Dan was always okay. Until 2 years later. 

Authors note: Maiya my fellow trash member of the phandom wrote this chapter so be happy u lil shits


	4. Chapter 4

Phil’s POV …. Present time.  
I woke up in a white room, this wasn't my bedroom. Where am I? Then i realized that Dan did actually tried to commit suicide again. I need to know where he is. 

I went outside to the front desk to ask where Dan was. “Sorry he is in intensive care right now. He's not stable and he will not be receiving visitors at this moment. If you could please take a seat and I will let you know if your friend is ok.” I nodded. 

I went to go take a seat I began calling everyone first i started with Dan's parents. I heard Jessica (Dan’s mom) crying in the background as she heard the news. His father told me they would come as soon as possible.

I then called Pj, Chris was with him they told me they would be right over. I did call Louise but she didn't pick up I left a voicemail so she could know what was going on. I didn't call Mari though she didn't really like Dan. 

When Pj and Chris arrived they asked me how Dan was i told them i didn't know. I began to cry i didn't want to lose Dan. Dan is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. “There, there let it all out don't worry he’s gonna be fine then you can play mario kart again.”Pj told me.

“It was the most horrible thing i've ever seen Pj there was blood everywhere. Pj he did it again he promised me he wouldn't anymore he told me therapy was working. Why did it happen again.” Sobbing.

The doctor came over to us “Hello are you Daniel Howell’s friends?” 

“Yes we are” Pj said. 

“Ok alright I have some good news Daniel is stable you guys can see him in 10 minutes.” 

“Ok that's perfect his best friend here is crying so much.” I had to wait 10 minutes to see my best friend that was dying on our bathroom floor. I sobbed even harder. 

10 mins went by a nurse came to get us she was very nice. When we got to the room i saw Dan with tubes and needles stuck into him. I ran over to him side and cried. “WHY DAN WHY. WHY DID YOU DO THIS AGAIN. I LOVE YOU.” Pj and Chris were shocked to hear this. 

I saw his wrist it had stiches. I touched it to see if it was real and not a dream Dan then flinched in his sleep.

Hours later Dan’s parents and his brother came they looked at me. Jessica asked me what happened. I couldn't say this would break them. How do i tell them that their son tried to commit suicide again. “Mrs.Howell, I'm so sorry” I started crying again. “But he tried to commit suicide again. I thought that he was ok. I found him on our bathroom floor. It was the most horrible thing i ever seen I’m sorry i didn't know. He told me therapy was helping.” I couldn't look at her.   
I saw Adrian next to Dan crying. I looked up to see Jessica standing there in shock, tears in her eyes. Greg (Dan’s father) looked at me. I started sobbing so hard i thought i could die right there.   
“Phil, why don't you go home and get change you have blood on your clothes and get some rest everything will be ok. We’ll take care of Dan ok.”   
“I'm sorry Mr. Howell Dan is my best friend and I love him I don't wanna leave his side please don't make me please.” I said sobbing. Adrian then came up to me begging to go home. He knew I was tired and I had a terrible experience. I couldn’t go back to the flat. It would remind me of what happened. I said ok anyways. 

As i walked out of the building I looked at my phone 27 missed calls from Mari. I called her back told her what happened. I asked to come over to the flat because i didn't want to be alone. She agreed. 

As i got to the flat i saw her standing outside of the building. I ran to her. “Hey sorry to ask you to come over really late like this but i just didn't want to be alone at the flat today.” 

“It's ok, I was still awake.” She responded.

“Let's go inside ok.” As we got inside I saw the blood on the floor. I started to feel tears again in my eyes i think she knew what was happening because as soon as we got to the lounge she kissed me. 

“Phil I know it hurts to be here right now and you remember everything but please just for right now let me help you forget.” I nodded. 

A few moments later we were both in our underwear and there was no stopping what was going on. I started to moan. “Dan.” I moaned out i realized what i said and look at Mari. 

She looked at me. “You bastard. You love Dan don’t you Oh My God. I knew something was going on between you two. But i just ignored it. I never knew you would do this to me. Good thing he’s dying now so now you’ll never get to see him again.” 

“SHUT UP. YOU BITCH. YES I LOVE DAN. I'M SO IN LOVE THAT I ADMITTED IT IN THE HOSPITAL. NOW YOU HAVE YOUR RESPONSE. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE.” 

“FINE. Just know that you are making a giant mistake right here. You’re letting go of someone that loves you very much!” 

After our fight she left and i sat there crying. Oh god damn i was a mess. Dan means so much to me than her. She can go die. I don't care i just want my Dan back. I passed out on the couch that night the next morning I woke up to a phone call.


	5. Chapter 5

Phil’s POV  
I woke up to a phone call. I could barely hear what they were saying. I tried to listen to them. It was Dan’s mom she was telling me something. “Sorry i didn't hear you, What happened?”   
“Phil i'm so sorry but Dan died.” Those words struck me like lightning. I felt tears in my eyes. This can't be happening this is a lie. I could hear everyone in the room crying. I could hear Adrian sobbing and saying ‘I’m sorry for being a terrible brother.’ I sat there tears streaming down my face unable to speak.   
“Phil, Phil are you there please answer me.” I hung up. I couldn't believe that Dan. My Dan was gone. Why? WHY? Why is the world so cruel?   
I called Pj and Chris to tell them the news. Pj and Chris cried too. They told me they would be right over. A little while later i heard a knock on my bedroom door Pj and Chris hugged me.   
I started sobbing again like i it was normal. I couldn’t help but scream“I DON'T WANT DAN TO DIE. I WANT HIM BACK. PJ,CHRIS I LOVE HIM!”   
“We know and it's ok we will get through this don’t worry.” Pj said. Two days later it was Dan’s funeral. The whole phandom found out that there beloved danisnotonfire died. They sent tweets and emails saying that they were devastated, and that they wished to comfort me since it's hard losing a friend.   
I saw Dan in the casket. He looked so peaceful. Everyone from Dan’s family said their speeches about Dan and now it was my turn. “Hi I’m Phil, Dan’s best friend. You probably knew that though since I was with Dan all the time. Dan and i were close and will be forever. I don't know where i would be if i hadn’t met him. He was the yin to my yang.”I began to cry. I kept going though. “He was the llama to my lion. The sky to my sun. He may have been sarcastic and annoying. But looking past that he was a ball of happiness and sadness mixed together. He always made my day. I love him so much that i would much rather die than not have a world without Dan.”

As i said those last words. I woke up in my bed with tears in my eyes. I picked up my phone and called Adrian because I knew he would still be awake. “Adrian is Dan ok?”   
“Yea he’s fine Phil” He said. Oh god thank goodness.  
“OMG thank you”  
“Why are you thanking me. Phil are you ok?”  
“Yea just had a bad dream.”   
“Wanna talk about it?”   
“Ok well it started with…….” I told him the dream i had.  
I could tell he was crying by his sniffing on the other side. “Phil i’m so sorry i should have told you sooner.” He began.   
Why is he saying sorry? “Phil, I know I should have called you sooner. Earlier Dan was talking in his sleep something about leaving a letter. My guess is that the letter has the answers to why he tried to kill himself again.”   
“Ok ill try to find it don't worry. I'll find out. I'll call you once i find it.”   
“Ok bye Phil”. I hung up.  
I began looking around my room but all i found was the weirdest crap ever. I didn't find anything so i went to look in Dan’s room but i found nothing. I went back to my room and laid down i felt something behind my pillow.   
I reached under and found a piece of paper. It said To Phil Lester. This must be the letter. I open it up to find Dan’s horrible writing.

“Dear Phil if you found this it means i'm dead. I'm so sorry i left you but i felt like there was no reason why i should be here. And please tell my mum and dad that i'm sorry. And there's something i need to tell you and it's I love you Phil, It's been killing me to see you with someone else that is not me. I tried to be happy again i really did but it didn't work. I just don't belong here. You deserve someone better than me. A better best friend. Please don't be sad. Tell everyone that it was my decision I've been living with this depression for… hell I can't even remember how many years I've had it. I hope you live a happy life with your wife Mari. Yeah, I overheard you talking to Pj, how you were going to ask her to marry you that broke my heart. Seeing you with someone else plus getting shit from my parents and other family. I couldn't take it anymore. Anyways tell Adrian I'm sorry for being a horrible brother. Tell everyone of our friends that I love them and that I’m really sorry for not sticking around.  
~ Your best friend Dan Howell.   
P.s I’ll see you in another life ok. I love you Phil.”

When I finished reading the letter I noticed tears were streaming down my face. I can’t believe Dan would do this. This is all my fault if only I would have told him how I felt. Then he wouldn’t be in that hospital.

I felt myself being sick and ran to the bathroom. I got even more sick when I saw the blood was still there. I instantly threw up right then. I couldn’t be in this bathroom... This is where I found my best friend on the verge of death. I ran out of the room. I couldn’t take it anymore. This felt horrible. I knew Dan was strong but part of me wanted to believe that he was never going to wake up. 

__________________________few days later________________________

It’s been a few days, and I can’t get out of bed. I haven’t eaten much either. This whole apartment reminds me of Dan and it takes my appetite away. I went to visit Dan he looked the same as when I left. I told Adrian about the letter.   
He started sobbing as soon as I finished telling him. Dan parents told me to go home since I still looked horrible after resting up. I listened, and went home. Adrian hasn’t called me if Dan had woken up or anything. I won’t answer any of my friends except Adrian.   
Pj and Chris came to check up on me yesterday they could tell I was miserable. It was a good thing they had to leave before I couldn’t hold any of my emotions inside. I hope Dan wakes up soon. An hour later I got a call from Adrian. “PHIL YOU NEED TO COME QUICK DAN WOKE UP!”  
“OK THIS IS AMAZING. I’M ON MY WAY!” I get to the hospital and run to Dan’s room I see him sitting there like nothing happened. I run to him crying and i hug him.   
He doesn’t hug back he just stares at me blankly with a blush on his face. “Dan, what’s wrong?” I ask.   
“Well, why are you hugging me? and how do you know my name? Your Amazingphil. Why do you care about me? Am I dying is this a make-a-wish thing.”   
My smile falls he doesn’t remember me. “Dan stop joking around I’m your best friend. Please I’ve been so worried about you.”   
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I know is that your Amazingphil and that you’re my favorite YouTuber. And that’s all I know...” When he said those words my whole world fell apart. He doesn’t remember anything. This was too overwhelming. Then I felt my body give out and the room go dark.


	6. Chapter 6

Dan’s POV  
I woke up. My wrists hurt so much. What happened? This isn't my bedroom. Where am I? “Hello. Mum, Dad, Adrian you there.”   
“Omg Dan you’re ok i'm so glad.” Wait i know that voice it's Adrian.  
“Hey can you tell me what happened.”  
“Yea i just need to make a call brb” Adrian went out to make the call.   
My parents soon woke up and they hugged me and told me they were happy to see me fine. I still didn't understand what happened. Adrian came in 5 mins later with a smile on his face. “Adrian, what's going on? i don't understand. What happened?”   
“You really don't remember, do you?” I shook my head.   
“Dan i really don't know how i can tell you this. But…” All of a sudden i saw a man run into the room and hug me. He was crying too. Who was this man?   
I grew the realization that it was AMAZINGPHIL. OMG WHY IS AMAZINGPHIL HUGGING ME. He looked up at me. His smile dropped. I wonder what was wrong. “Dan, what’s wrong?” He asked.  
“Well, why are you hugging me? And how do you know my name? All i know is that you’re amazingphil. Why do you care about me? Is this a make-a-wish thing?” I asked.   
“Dan please stop joking. I'm your best friend. Please i've been so worried about you.”   
“I'm sorry but i don't know what you’re talking about. I only know that you’re amazingphil and that you're my favorite youtuber.” Next thing i knew he was on the floor.  
“Oh my god, Phil” Mum screamed “Please get help.”. I guess he was to overwhelmed but what was he talking about me being his best friend is that really true.   
Seconds later some people came in to check on Phil and took him to another room. Then someone came in to check on me. “Hi Daniel, How do you feel.”   
“Just Dan please and i feel normal except i can't remember what happened and that my wrists hurt really bad.”   
“Ok well i would explain what happened but i would much rather let your family explain. I'll come back later to check up on you.”   
“Ok thank you nurse…”   
“Maggie, my name is Maggie.”   
“Ok thanks again.” And with that she walked out of the room.   
Mum came in a bit later i wanted to ask her what happened but she looked like she was going through a rough time so I left it alone so i wouldn't trigger anything. “Sweetie i'm going to get your brother ok.”  
“Ok mum”. Moments later Adrian came in.   
“Hey you ok Dan? Got any questions.”  
“Yea…. um… What happened to me?” Adrian looked at me shocked.  
“You don't remember, do you?”  
“No, sorry but please tell me what happened please.” Adrian looked like he was going to cry.   
“This is really hard to say but Dan you tried…” Adrian started crying. “Dan you tried to commit suicide again.”   
What?? Why?? Was my life that bad that i tried to do it more than once. I started to cry. “Adrian, Why did i do it?”   
“It's better if Phil tells you.” “Ok”. A couple hours later Phil came in he seemed worried and sad. Adrian whispered something to him and he whispered something back. Adrian then left and i was left alone with Phil.   
“Hey Dan how are you doing?”   
“I'm doing fine” There was silence i didn't dare ask why i tried to commit suicide but i need to know. A few moments passed and i couldn't stop myself i had to ask.  
“Hey, Phil can i ask you something?”   
“Um… sure.” I sat there trying to say my question but my voice wouldn't seem to make a noise.   
God dammit i just need to come out and say it. “Phil, Why did i try to commit suicide?”. Phil looked at me with shock.   
He then started to cry. “Sorry i shouldn’t of asked”   
“It's fine you deserve to know why you did it.” He said while crying. He began telling me about the letter. After a few minutes of him talking he stopped. I sat there in complete shock. Tears streaming down my face.   
Why couldn't i remember anything about what happened that night. Or any remembrance of Phil. Why couldn't i remember being in love with him. “Dan are you ok?”  
I nodded my head. “Im fine im just shocked i would do that.”   
“Dan can i ask you something now?”   
“Yea go ahead.” I said it took a few moments before he said anything.   
“Dan do you love me?”   
“I-I d-don't know i can't remember anything. All i remember is that i live with my parents.”   
“Dan what year do you think you’re in?”.  
“2009”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO sorry for not updating that often ive been trying to keep my grades up. And its working but i havent been able to write in a while but i finally wrote another one it may be short but i hope you guys like it. Oh and i finally stopped getting 69's on all of my test so im celebrating that i actually got a B and a C on these test lol.


	7. Chapter 7

2 weeks later. Dan’s POV

It's been 2 weeks since ive been released from the hospital. I had the choice of going home with my parents while i recovered my memories or i could go with Phil to our apartment. It's so weird to say our apartment.   
Anyways i decided to go with Phil since he’s my ‘best friend’ and this way my memories can come back. Some of them came back like when i went to meet charlieissocoollike and i thought he would have known about me and he didnt so thats a thing.   
Oh and i almost forgot i have a Youtube channel with over 2 million subscribers. I noticed that i hadn't uploaded in over 3 months. What kind of person was I. I wonder.   
Anyways Phil said that 2 of our very close friends Pj and Chris. I wonder what kind of characters they are. “Hey Dan you ok? You look like you're constipated.”   
“Yea im fine im just thinking how Pj and Chris will look like.”   
“Don’t worry everything will be ok. They’re great people.”   
“Ok thanks Phil.” Phil is so nice. I can see why i fell in love with him. He’s so cute and hot and he’s the best. I wonder how Phil is taking this. Me not remembering him and most of our friends. I feel bad for everyone. Hopefully i get along with Pj and Chris.

\------------------------------------------Le time skip------------------------------------

I heard on knock on the door 2 hours later. That must be Pj and Chris. Phil said he would get the door. I sat in the lounge along for what seemed like 20 mins but it was actually 5 mins.   
Pj,Chris, and Phil came into the lounge and then the introductions started. “Hey Dan i'm Chris Kendall hopefully you can remember more and trust me cause i can see that you don't trust me right now.”   
“Yea hopefully” I said.   
It was Pj’s turn. “Hey im Pj Liguori and i'm creative. I'll also help you with problems you have with your life.”   
“Ok thanks.”. Pj is really cute to be honest. The way his hair is curly. It causes me to imagine him on top of me. I may like Phil but there's just something about Pj that attracts me to him. Maybe it's just a one time thing. It’ll go away in a couple of days.   
Anyways Pj and Chris stayed for hours and we played video games made dinner together and told stories of times we all went together places like when we went to italy. I got to know them so well just by one night. Sadly the end came and they had to go. “So what’d you think of Pj and Chris?”  
“They were amazing i can't believe we have friends like that.”   
“I know right there so weird but they're great people. Anyways it's late you should get some rest.”  
“Yea that's a good idea.” I walked to my room and stipped down. I then face planted into the bed not bothering to get under the covers. I yelled goodnight to Phil and i heard a response.   
I closed my eyes but my brain wouldn't shut up all it was saying was Pj is so cute isnt he. Yea he is. After what felt like an hour of my brain saying stuff about Pj. I finally fell asleep with Pj on my mind.

\-----------------------------------------Le TIME SKIP----------------------------------

It's been a few weeks since we hung out with Pj and Chris. And that crush on Pj i had the day i met him won't go away. I really like him. And i can't get him out of my mind. I really want to ask him out but i'm afraid he's gonna say no. But i just need to go for it. Ok i'll call Pj and ask him to come over in a few hours. I pulled out my phone and dialed Pj’s phone number. “Hey Pj wanna come over in a few hours?”   
“Yea. Should i bring Chris?”   
“I was hoping it would just be us.”   
“Yeah that's totally fine Dan.”   
“Ok then see you in a little while.”   
“Ok bye”. I hung up. Time to get ready.  
An hour later i heard a knock on the door. That must be Pj. Ok it's go time. “Hey Pj how are you?”   
“I'm good. So Dan why did you want to be alone with me?”   
“Can we go talk in the lounge,please?”   
“Yea sure lets go.” We went to the lounge and sat down on the sofa.   
“So about my question from earlier.”   
“Well you see. I-I reallylikeyouandireallywannagooutwithyousowillyoupleasegooutwithme.”  
Pj stared at me in shock. He then grabbed my cheek. He then leaned in and kissed me. His lips were perfect on mine. We pulled away after a few seconds. “Does that answer your question.”   
“So is that a yes then.”   
“Yes it is you pop tart.” He then pulled me into another kissed. I've never been so happy in my life.

Phil’s POV

Dan has been a total sweetheart. Even if he doesn't remember me that much. I love how we can be like we used to be before the whole incident. Im craving popcorn and a movie. I should go ask him if he wants to have a movie night. I'm pretty sure he’s in the lounge.   
As i walk to the lounge there’s no sound. I’m pretty sure he’s in there because he’s not in his room. I was about to look inside when i hear Pj’s voice. Whats Pj doing here?   
“Well you see. I-I reallylikeyouandireallywannagooutwithyousowillyoupleasegooutwithme.”   
I looked over and i saw Pj kissing Dan. I felt like something broke inside. I didn’t want to hear the rest of the conversation. I ran to my room tears streaming down my face.   
A few hours passed and Pj had left already. Dan came into my room asking if i was ok. I told him i was just tired and had a headache. When he left my room i cried.   
I couldn’t fall asleep. PJ kissing Dan kept flashing is my mind. Where did i go wrong? Where the fuck did i go wrong? I asked Dan if he loved me. But i guess he didn’t.   
I spent the whole night thinking like this. Morning came and I looked horrible. It was around 11am that Dan told me he was going out to meet Pj. I wanted to cry right there. I said ok and that he would have a fun time. I felt so horrible. I ended up calling Chris telling him what happened.   
He said he would come over to help me calm down. Chris showed up 30 mins after i called him. “Hey Phil how do you feel?” I cried again he took me to the lounge where we talked about Dan.   
“Phil maybe you need to move on. I mean Pj is a great person and stuff but you gotta understand that he doesn't understand what is going on.”   
“I don't know Chris. I don't wanna give up on Dan in the letter he wrote he said he loved me.”   
“Yea, but what if someone else loved you?” Chris then took me by surprise and kissed me. I guess it was the pain i was in that made me kiss back.   
I pulled away and stared at Chris. “Sorry if that took you by surprise Phil but i’ve liked you for so long that i thought it was finally time you knew.”   
“It's ok Chris.” I kissed him again. This time there was more lust instead of love.  
I wasn’t interested in Chris but i would do anything to get rid of the pain Dan is causing right now. I wasn’t thinking anymore. Lust was controlling me. I took Chris’s shirt and pulled it off. “Chris let's go to my room?” He nodded. Next thing i knew we were both in our boxers.   
Reason took over me and told me not to do anything with Chris i told him we needed to stop. Chris just looked at me. “Please Phil let me show you how much i love you.” I don't remember what happened next.   
When i woke up in the morning I felt horrible for using Chris. I woke Chris up. He looked at the time and said he needed to go. I kissed him goodbye. And with that he left.   
That kiss he gave me yesterday took me by surprise but i didn't feel anything for him. I realized that I made a horrible mistake in using Chris he didn't deserve this all he wants is love. I didn't hear Dan come home last night. I went to go check on him and he was still asleep. I just hope he didn't see me and Chris. I regret doing this to Chris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SO I JUST GOT AN A ON MY TEST SO I DECIDED TO BLESS YOU WITH THIS EPISODE HOPE YOU ENJOYED.

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at writing but im giving it a try. Hoped u liked this. Im so sorry. ill put chapter 2 up tomorrow


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